Has the question 'why am I not getting pregnant?' been tripping its way through your thoughts? In a trawl through the internet I discovered this chart that shares the major causes of infertility. It focuses on certain fertility conditions and the recommended treatment.
And many other articles exploring the reason for not getting pregnant when everything is normal. These address the question of 'why am I not getting pregnant?' through a wider lens. Including stress, sleep etc. This particular audio and article came about in response to the following question I received from Edel.
If somebody hasn't been able to get pregnant over time, do you feel it's a mechanical issue or something more deep-seated?
Edel, you've shared with me other parts of your story so I'm thinking that you have already ruled out mechanical issues and medical reasons for pregnancy not happening. But if you haven't, then I invite you to check that out for sure.
To answer your question 'could it be something more deep-seated?', my answer to that is: "Yes. It could". Now the phrase 'something more deep-seated' could cause concern. But I don't feel that's valuable in this situation. What I'm hearing here is an invitation from your feminine wisdom to dive deeper.
The image that emerged for me when I was reading your email was that of a beautiful womb. With streams of purple light around the edges of the womb, particularly at the base (the deepest part). And what came up for me, Edel, in your story is that the process is very important for you. That your feminine wisdom is really inviting you to engage more in the actual journey itself. And to tune in especially to the parts in which this light was and is leading you.
It feels like your fertility journey has been very much focused on the goal (getting pregnant). And on the physical/mechanical level of baby-making. You have had to engage in all these procedures in order to achieve that goal. But my feeling is that you are a very sensitive woman. And that the rhythm and the unfolding of the journey is something that is wanting to be processed, to be experienced ...and enjoyed. That there is beauty to be discovered in the depth of your feminine.
Could it be that the deep-seated piece is linked to the beautiful purple light that's wanting to be embrace you on this journey? Inviting you to create a womb-space around yourself that allows you to explore that light. That provides you with the time you need, the softness you need and the patience you need to be able to hear your feminine guidance. And play with it.
So yes, it is possible that something deep-seated is going on Edel. It is possible and probable indeed that there is deep feminine wisdom at work here. At play here. And while on the surface it seems like it's not working, there is something beautifully, feminine calling you from within.
And part of that, I sense, is about you allowing yourself to value the process, to value where you are and where you have been. To honour each step and how you have showed up in them. To be in this moment. And to create a womb space around yourself so that life and your fertility journey can be fun again and light for you. That is the energy, I suspect, that you would love to marinate your motherhood in too!