Want A Baby So I’m Not Just The Girlfriend

want a baby so Im not just the girlfriend

Want A Baby So I'm Not Just The Girlfriend  

The thought that 'I want a baby so I'm not just the girlfriend' is coming up more and more often. In fertility after 40 and beyond.

Why? Well relationships are changing on the planet with the result that many people are meeting their partners much later in life. When one or both already have children.

I've published previously on a related theme about trying to have a baby for the relationship. While, this audio and article below came about in response to a conversation I had with Maire - one of the women in our tribe who is approaching 50 years. Here is what she had to say:

"I'm in a relationship with a man who already has children. I want us to have a baby together because I don't want to be just his girlfriend".

Want A Baby So I'm Not Just The Girlfriend -
A Relationship That Matters

When I hear that statement, "I don't want to be just his girlfriend," what comes up for me is the following. We have a tendency to believe that relationships are more important when the couple has children together.

Because having babies is a clear co-creation (result) that fits very comfortably into the patriarchal model. Which has told us that having a baby is the most valuable creative contribution a woman can make. And the most precious experience a couple can share.

But having heard more of your story Maire, what I am hearing is that this is really about a search for meaning.

Want A Baby So I'm Not Just The Girlfriend -
Feminine Meaning

More specifically, I am sensing your feminine wisdom yearning for deeper meaning in your relationship with your partner. 

What we all long for, really, is meaning in our lives. And it is clear for me that you are seeking more meaning in your relationship. Does that resonate?

And while having a baby is an obvious possibility and the one that we've been trained to focus on, there are many other co-creative possibilities here.

Want A Baby So I'm Not Just The Girlfriend -
Meaning In Your Relationship

So I am asking you to also consider other ways in which you can create together something meaningful. Some that nourish your relationship and are an expression of where the two of you meet. Where your passions and values intersect for example. Or other places where you feel a sense of union with him.

That may indeed be having a baby. Or adopting a baby. But it could also be adopting a forest. Or creating a group that cleans up the beach. It could be offering to become a support to another family with young children. Or something much lighter than that...

Perhaps, you like painting. It could be creating the most beautiful painting for your community or running another fun event that taps into your passions. And feels uplifting, worthwhile and meaningful.

Want A Baby So I'm Not Just The Girlfriend -
Meaningful Relationship

Give yourself time to sit with this, because something beautiful wants to be born here. Between you. And you are being called to take the feminine lead here. Becuase it is you who is feeling this most strongly.

Initiate discussions with your partner around this. Because this process will facilitate more meaningful connection. Explore with him how you could pour your creativity energy together in a way that feels significant. And authentic for you.

Ways that come from a place of empowerment. As opposed to "we have to have a baby or else this isn't a valid relationship."

Have fun with this musing and just see what comes up. Allow this to be a theme that you revisit often as this will help to maintain and enhance the value of your relationship regardless of what creative path you choose....

Audio - Want A Baby So I'm Not Just The Girlfriend

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