Ask yourself this: "Am I using up energy I need to have a baby?" Sure you may want a baby after 40 or 50. And you may be actively trying to have a baby. But because of the patriarchal download, the answer to the question "am I using up energy I need to have a baby" is very often .....a big....bold..."YES!".
So conditioned are we into gushing feminine resources into patriarchal peculiarities that it is seen as normal to feel depleted. It's kind of assumed that being pulled in all directions is just part and parcel of being a woman. And that pregnancy after 40 just needs to occur in this space.
In my search I could not locate articles, as such, on this topic. I suppose they are hiding appropriately in the background. There were natural energy boosters for new moms alright. Energy tips for moms and energy foods for when you are pregnant. Along with essential vitamins for energy.
But several searches failed to locate information on the topic of energy use prior to pregnancy. And how that influences pregnancy success, fertility after 40 and fertility after 50. This video and article came about in response to the following question I received.
"I'm caring for my sick mother Deirdre, and I need to make time for myself.
How can I do that?"
So it sounds to me as though your 'mothering' energy is being used at the moment. That it's going into your own mother. And if your nurturing/ mothering energy is being exhausted, it may be that your feminine wisdom is not allowing pregnancy right now. Because that just might be too much to handle.
Patriarchal amnesia has caused us to forget that your feminine wisdom is tapped into your true desires. Not just the end result - the visible piece of pregnancy and baby. Your feminine knows deeply how you want to feel and be as a mother.
Because whether you are aware of it or not, you have probably been designing your experience of motherhood for decades. By identifying things/experiences that you would love... and those that you absolutely don't want for yourself and your baby.
And your beautiful feminine wisdom has been holding these preferences tenderly for you. She recognises, perhaps that, because you are nursing your mother, having a baby now would be incompatible with the experience of motherhood you yearn for.
If the idea "I am using up energy I need to have a baby" resonates. Or you are feeling your fertility energy being drained (by your husband, mother or anyone else), and wondering how you can possibly muster the energy for fertility now - you are being invited to engage in an honest conversation with your feminine wisdom.
I invite you to pencil-in some time-out just for you and your deep feminine wisdom. And record what really comes up when you sit with the questions below.
If you are open to listening, you will hear feminine guidance as to what needs to change. A new relationship with yourself as carer and nurturer is part of what wants to be born here. And shifting this will help you to realise the kind of motherhood you truly long for. Please share with us below what emerges for you with these questions.