Are you ttc after 40? (That's trying to conceive - just in case you are not familiar with the abbreviation). If so, you belong to the growing number of women trying to have a baby after 40.
In the UK, for example, "The Office for National Statistic's figures show that pregnancy rates for over-40s have more than doubled in the past 24 years.....forty-something mothers are more likely to be first-timers, and their numbers are rising once again...."
There is a fertile future ahead so you might want to consider preparing for conception after 40 now!
Previously, I published 'When trying to get pregnant doesn't work', 'How to boost ovulation when trying to get pregnant' and 'Getting your period when trying to conceive at 48'. So you might like to check those out too because in this audio and article below, I want to address 'ttc after 40' when you feel your body is letting you down. And my personal experience around this.
Why do so many women feel that their body is letting them down in fertility after 40? There are many reasons. One of the most significant, in my view, is that in patriarchy what has been valued is the masculine and the mental world. Thinking, reasoning, figuring things out etc. have taken up most of our educational experiences for example.
The physical body, which represents the feminine, hasn't really been valued for itself. And has often been seen as an inconvenience in our patriarchal world- especially when it is not producing.
So many of us are on the treadmill of pushing ourselves and ignoring the prompts of the body, because we have been taught that it is better to override them. But I have learned over the years that your feminine body is steeped to the brim in wisdom.
I hurt my back bout 20 years ago and I couldn't move. I was stuck, literally. And very frustrated and angry that this could happen to me. Because I had important things to do. Like work!
But my wonderful body knew better. It forced me to stop and explore new avenues as I didn't improve with bed-rest, physiotherapy and visits to the doctor. And I was beginning to wonder if I would ever work again.
My first session of acupuncture brought notable relief. I loved it so much, indeed, that I signed up for a course in Naturopathy that included Chinese Medicine. Homeopathy and other disciplines that came to fascinate me.
The discovery of Cranio-sacral therapy and the experience of how that so powerfully facilitated my healing, led me on a deeply transformative journey over the following years. Including a retreat in Portugal - practicing cranio-sacral therapy in the water with some of the masters around the globe. It was amazing.
In short, my life was redesigned by this experience. It became rich and meaningful in ways I never thought existed. All thanks to my body "leting me down".
Because my very wise, feminine body gave me no option but to expand my understanding of my value and who I truly am. It 'let me down' for sure. But what I didn't realise at the time was that this was my feminine wisdom 'letting me down' from the patriarchal pedestal I had been perched upon.
In hindsight, this immobilising contracture was a huge gift. It was letting me know that my life - which was successful from a patriarchal point of view (I had acheived the grades, owned my own house, secured a great job) - was deeply contracted. Just a sliver of what I came here to experience.
My feminine had been straight-jacketed into oblivion. And while the rational/logical (masculine) me would have continued along that trajectory for ever probably, my feminine wisdom knew that there was infinitely more joy ahead!
We have been trained to believe that when we cannot perform or produce our bodies are letting us down.
It's not true. What is happening is that your feminine wisdom is trying to free you from the conditioning that keeps you on the empty treadmill. So you can open up to the life you really came here to live. As opposed to the patriarchal half-life we have grown to associate with success.
When you observe yourself thinking that your body is letting you down, remember that this is a patriarchal interpretation of what is going. One that does not understand the feminine.
And I invite you to intend, in these moments, to embrace the idea that something wonderful is afoot. Somethings deliciously feminine. Uunderstand that your deep feminine wisdom remembers your deepest desires, what gives you greatest joy and what you have really come to co-create.
She is not going to try to maintain the patriarchal status quo. Because there is something greater calling you. And through your beautiful body and feelings she will help you to navigate into the life you truly want. And be the woman and mother you were born to be!