Have you been trying to conceive for years? Trying to have a baby for a year is one thing (and it is nice to know that 44% of women in this study conceived naturally after one year).
But it's a different ball-game when that's been going on for years and you feel that you have tried everything to get pregnant. There are fertility tests that will help reveal why that is happening. And given the link between thyroid and fertility, it is especially important for women over 40 to get this checked (as 40% of this group have underactive thyroid). Although it often goes undetected.
This video and article below came about in response to the following message I received:
"I've been trying to conceive for 19 years Deirdre.
Please help me."
When you share with me that you have been trying to conceive for 19 years, that feels like a very sad, heavy load to be carrying.
And while this may well be true, it is important for you to create some distance for yourself away from this narrative. And revisit your experience of 'trying to conceive for years' ...while engaging your feminine wisdom.
Specifically, I am suggesting that you to tap into the FORM stage of my Feminine Engagement Method™. Because this is all about forming a new account of your journey - one that can support your fertility now.
First, let's address your timeline here and the number 19 as I am feeling that this will serve you most. So for 19 years you've been trying to conceive. But if we look a little bit closer - while tuning into some of the feminine /hidden pieces of this story - I suspect there are places on that time-line that have another perspective to share.
On deeper reflection, for example, you might realise that during certain months or years you were open to having a baby. But in your heart you really wanted or needed to focus on or enjoy something else. Such as:
And you might look at another period of that 19 years and observe for example: "at that time I was with this partner and we weren't really compatible. Yes, I was trying to have a baby, but deep inside I had reservations."
Or you might be with the same partner all the time and see that for X number of years, you did not feel mature enough for motherhood. Or able to be the kind of mother you wanted to be.
I know that was true for me when I was trying to conceive. That in reality, I wasn't yet the person I wanted to be for my kids. I wasn't there in my own life. So while I was trying to have a baby, a deeper part of me was singing the tune of "not ready yet Deirdre". And perhaps this might have been true for you at some stage....
So I'm suggesting that, apart from the times that ttc was your deepest desire and first priority, to remove those years from your 19 year story. That exercise alone should lighten the load a bit.
But let's go further with the FORM step and create room for an interpretation of your experience that could actually feel good. You can practice with the following for example:
"I have been preparing for motherhood and a shift in consciousness within myself and the world so that I can show up as the kind of mother I was born to be. And now I'm beginning to feel ready."
How does that feel instead? Because, although patriarchy doesn't understand this, how you feel in this really matters.
And you are being called to transform your assessment of your fertility journey from one of long-suffering victim. To one that reflects your creative power, deep feminine wisdom and your true contribution to this unfolding. Because it is from this empowered space that you can open up to flowering as a woman and a mother now.