It is probably safe to assume that the majority of women embarking on their sixth decade, and considering motherhood, ask themselves this. "Am I too old to have a baby at 50?". The truth is that, thanks to a patriarchal education around fertility, women 10 years younger often wonder the same. Is 40 too old to have a baby? Even though the oldest verified mother was a few days short of 67 years when she gave birth to twins.
Even though a study in 2012 following 101 pregnancies of women over 50 found that "these women do really pretty well" if screened and cared for.... I recorded this video/article in response to the following question I received from Vespera:
Should I just accept my "too oldness"?
Let me first refer to my Feminine Engagement Method™ as that helps us to tap into the world of feelings on this issue. Contrary to what we have been taught in patriarchy, feelings matter hugely in the co-creative process. Especially so, in my opinion, when you are wondering if you are too old to have a baby at 50 (or any age).
So how do you feel when asking the question "Should I just accept that I am too old to have a baby at 50?". If you say that in an ordinary way, it doesn't feel good. But you could say it in a way that is more playful, defiant and holds the seeds of positive possibility. Please see the video below as it captures what I mean here much more efficiently than the text!
Acceptance is definitely part and parcel of your fertility journey. Part of your journey into motherhood, and through it. Perhaps you are being invited to accept that, according to the dominant view in patriarchy, you are too old to have a baby at 50. Especially if wondering about having a baby at 50 naturally.
Could you accept that that has been the patriarchal perspective? I am not suggesting that you accept that you are too old to have a baby at 50. Just to accept that this is what has been considered normal and appropriate in patriarchy. A patriarchy that doesn't understand the role of the feminine in the co-creative process. In other words, when looked at through the old patriarchal lens (as in the camera in the image above), it is true that people thought it too old to have a baby at 50.
Can you accept that? Notice how it feels when you do that. And then, I invite you to accept also that we are at the tail end of the patriarchal paradigm. Even if it is not so obvious just yet.
But we are birthing something new now. And you can accept that you are part of a movement of women contributing to the evolution of fertility. You belong to a community of women, engaging feminine wisdom in fertility after 40 and 50. For the first time. In a deliberate way. Across continents. How does that feel?
It feels exciting to me! And as a member of this powerful group of women, deliberately shifting consciousness, you are co-creating a new understanding. Of the role of the feminine in the creative process. And you can accept that also when met with ideas that you are too old to have a baby at 50.
Acceptance is very powerful and it has a place when wondering if you are too old to have a baby at 50. It is good to remember though that you have the power and possibility to choose what you are going to accept. And to shape new fertility norms and a new normal on the planet. So, I am inviting you to consider what is it that you really want to accept now?
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