Have you ever thought to yourself "I'm being punished for thinking I can have a baby"? At your age? It's not a notion that is limited to women of 40 plus on the fertility journey of course.
But it is one that demands more attention - from women in their late forties and beyond - planning to become mothers. Because snaking silently (or not), through our global culture, is the idea that it is just too old to have a baby at 50 for example. And to even want a baby at 50 years is totally selfish too.
This audio and the 3 tips below came about in response to a message I received from one of the wonderful women in our tribe. Here is an extract of what she shared about how she feels:
"(It's).. as if every time I take a step ahead, I get punished for assuming 'I can do it' and 'I am free to choose'."
What you share is echoing what has been going on for hundreds of years with women (children/subordinates) who have felt "I can do it". Because the "I can" often goes against what patriarchy (the masculine) has decided is appropriate or possible (for women in this instance).
And the bottom line is that, for many of us, it hasn't been emotionally, physically and/or mentally safe to believe in ourselves, our dreams and our desires. Because that has been perceived as defiant. Disrespectful. Dangerous. Delusional. And, most importantly perhaps, damaging to the patriarchal status quo.
That's the way it has been. But it's not the way it will be! And you are part of this evolution. Here are 3 tips to support you with this.
From your share, it sounds like 'Punishment' pull you back to keep you in your patriarchal place. And your huge dissatisfaction with this situation is your feminine wisdom asking you to release this patriarchal grip on your fertility and life. Which leads me to tip 1:
You can drizzle oil on these fearsome fists by drawing on Step 1 of my Feminine Engagement Method® which is to Form a new story around "I can have a baby". One that will support your creative expression. So what might a new story sound like for you?
Well, would you love that your feelings of "I can" are met with support and encouragement that is determined to help you get what you want? Friendly hands happy to help you grease these patriarchal palms so you can slip effortlessly into your full creative power?
How would that feel instead? Because, if it uplifts you even a tad, your feminine wisdom is calling you to explore this kind of story further. You don't need to know how it will unfold at this point.
What matters here is your decision to introduce a new narrative around "I can". So that, hidden qualities can emerge in the heroine (that's you!). And new characters, ideas and tools can enter the scene to provide the kind of support that matters most now.
Play around with this for a while and see what new version would love to be born here.
Tip 2 is to stop asking 'why does this always happen?'. Because that just gives more power to that patriarchal story and keeps you in victim mode. Instead, ask a question that empowers your feminine and helps you dissolve that old drama.
For example: In what way have these punishments turned out to be gifts? Tune in to each of the most significant 'punishments' that you've experienced and explore them with this inquiry.
Become aware of anything for which you can be grateful. Perhaps an awareness was revealed, or an understanding about how you want to be as a woman, the kind of world you want your children to grow up in, how you want to feel as a mother etc.
As you engage your feminine wisdom in this way, that patriarchal grasp softens from the inside. It becomes less densely packed together. Less intent on proving you wrong. And now you've got the feminine oil dripping over the grip and a softening from within it. Which makes transformation almost inevitable....
With Tip 3 you are Engaging the Feminine® further by imagining yourself as a woman who is not punished for thinking I can have a baby. Instead, you are a woman who is rewarded for this!
How would you look and feel? Who would you be spending time with? What/who would you no longer be in your life? And describe the biggest changes that you have made to become this woman. Spend time with this exercise as it will reveal valuable feminine wisdom to support your fertility.
That beautiful woman already exits within you. And, by changing the patriarchal story with these 3 tips, she can show up for you. Now in your fertility, through motherhood and well beyond!
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