Are you becoming familiar with negative fertility emotions? With so many balls to juggle from infertility costs to miscarriage grief, dealing with the emotions of infertility can be very long, hard struggle. Especially in our patriarchal model that is so uncomfortable with emotions.
Chinese medicine includes emotions in the assessment of health and also has non-prescription interventions that can help such as acupuncture. But it matters for your motherhood and baby when negative fertility emotions feel overwhelming (see preventing preeclampsia) .This video and article came about in response to the following question:
I have so many negative fertility emotions Deirdre.
What can I do about them?
It is important, first of all, to consider negative fertility emotions within the broader context on the planet. In patriarchy (which has dominated for several thousand years), feelings have been regarded as superfluous and needless. Pestiferous even. And so we have endeavoured to suppress, conceal and negate how we truly feel - which does adds to fertility stress.
Both collectively and individually, we have been diligently ignoring the feminine (of which feelings are a part). And by turning a blind eye, we have dutifully disregarded feminine prompts. Those wise nudges and nuggets of guidance. And the reason for this is as follows:
Patriarchy is commonly convinced that the masculine is the sole creator. As a result, the contributions of the feminine, apart from the obvious physical ones, have been omitted from our understanding of fertility, the creative process and what it means to be a woman.
But negative feelings and negative fertility emotions continue to show up. Why? Because they have an important role to play in the creative process. Negative feelings, when we understand them, are gorgeous. And in our patriarchal world, they are absolutely necessary. Especially so, in my view, if you are a trying to have a baby after 40.
But even if the idea that the masculine is superior permeates all our systems, nature itself continuously remembers and reveals the truth: The feminine is necessary for successful co-creation. And she shows up by communicating gently with us through intuitions, feelings (such as slight discomfort) or a questioning for example. A sense that something is off .... or that it is so right.
And when we shrug off, yet again, these soft signals - they have no choice but to escalate. Slowly at first perhaps. Until they crescendo into an outburst of great anger, frustration, rage or even violence. Or something akin to an implosion of depression. And while patriarchy find these most unsavory, they play a very important role.
The rules that we've been taught as women have bound us so tightly that often we don't allow ourselves to really feel our feminine truth until it reaches that level of intensity. But it doesn't have to be like that.
When you feel anger, for example, instead of denying it or being ashamed of it, you can begin to understand it. Understand that it is coming from a place of wisdom. Your feminine wisdom that is doing it's best to survive in a world that has been completely out of balance.
As you begin to respond to your negative fertility emotions with curiosity and compassion, they can begin again to support your creativity in the intended way. More often than not, through your negative fertility emotions, your feminine wisdom is guiding you to make changes in your life that will allow you to have what you want. Changes that are designed to help you create what you really want as a woman and a mother.
We can appreciate then, that feeling deep negativity is not necessarily an evil at all. Rather, it is an invitation to return to your wholeness and engage also your feminine wisdom on your fertility journey.
When you give negative fertility emotions a chance to be heard, to really hear what's behind them, you will discover gorgeous gifts. And new possibilities and pathways forward that will benefit everyone (in the long run).
Know that negative fertility emotions do hold a place in your creative process. In your fertility. But that as you begin to learn about Engaging the Feminine™ and live that along with the masculine, you won't need to go to the extremes of negative emotion.
You will become adept at tuning in at a much more subtle level and making the adjustments and course corrections at that point. Adjustments that will help you to show up as the woman and mother you were born to be.
Please share below how negative fertility emotions are showing up in your life now and what you sense might be behind it if you were to give it an opportunity to speak?
Let me coach you - so you can feel comfort and peace instead now.