Have you been wondering about the meaning of miscarriage? I'm not referring here to a meaning of miscarriage you might find in a medical dictionary, a Cambridge glossary or the equivalent from Oxford. My question is this:
Would you love to discover a meaning of miscarriage that actually
I have explored miscarriage grief elsewhere and invite you to read that first if the emotions are very raw for you. The piece I'd like to address in in this audio and article is around the construction of the word miscarriage. And the meaning of miscarriage that emerges as a result.
Miscarriage is a very heavy word. Particularly if you have experienced one. And when that is the case, the aspect that often receives most of our attention is the 'mis' part of that term.
Mis is a prefix meaning "bad" or "wrong". And, in the patriarchal model - our male world, it is completely appropriate to avail of that prefix here. Because in that download, starting with Eve in some traditions, the woman is at fault. And the feminine has been the one to blame when the journey meanders in a direction that seems to be at odds with the goal.
Merriam-Webster's dictionary shares that another meaning of miscarriage is "incompetent management". As a result, a woman searching for the meaning of miscarriage, may find herself believing that she did something wrong. There was something around the carriage - which only the mother can provide - that was faulty. So the word miscarriage - subtly or not - points the finger of blame at the mother. This then, consciously or otherwise, has informed our assessment of and response to baby loss.
I would like to invite in some feminine wisdom around the meaning of miscarriage. And the way I'm going to do it in this particular audio post is to share with you one step of my Feminine Engagement Method® - which is FORM. So the idea here is to form a new story around what is showing up. As opposed to the patriarchal interpretation that has fed our understanding of miscarriage until now.
Let us return to the word miscarriage. My feminine wisdom is guiding me to focus on the carriage part. So as I FORM a new story around that, the word carriage brings up a picture of a carriage from a fairy tale. The fairy godmother created this beautiful carriage full of jewels and colour. There's something very, very special about this carriage. And it has a very purposeful, indispensable feel to it.
My invitation here to you is to open up to the idea that you were and are a beautiful carriage. That you have been a gorgeous, sacred vehicle for your baby. And even if the journey was short, the part you contributed was nothing less than noble. That what happened inside of that gorgeous carriage, which cannot be seen to the normal patriarchal eye, was sacred, perfect and beautiful.
When I FORM that version of miscarriage and apply it to my own situation, it feels really lovely. My heart feels really connected in. And I love the idea that my three babies had this gorgeous journey. That I did provide this beautiful carriage.
And this feminine interpretation, which is not constrained by rational thinking or logic, feels like a warm truth embracing me. Embracing my babies and embracing my motherhood.
If it feels good for you, I invite you to take on this kind of interpretation. Play around with one that fits for you. Focus in on the carriage piece of miscarriage. And FORM a fertility story that allows your carriage and the meaning of miscarriage to be whole, valuable and truly meaningful for you. (For another example of the importance of finding meaning in miscarriage, you might like to read my personal story in 'What to say after miscarriage.)
Let me coach you - so you can feel comfort and peace instead now.