Do infertility costs seem exorbitant to you? I'm not referring to donor egg exploitation - the subject of which generated many comments in a previous post. Nor am I addressing the scenario in which you might be worried about the cost of ivf and wondering if it is wise for you to proceed with this fertility clinic for example.
It's your impression of the whole gamut providing fertility support to women that I am raising here - including coaching, supplements etc.
Why do I ask? Because of this message I received from Muireann, who wrote about her experience of being a woman over 40 aching for a baby. In short, in terms of infertility costs, she feels that exploitation is rampant. Here is an extract of what she had to share:
"Women in my position are a very vulnerable subset of the population that fall prey to the medical community who makes millions upon millions off of us...
Many of us shell out piles of cash for acupuncture, holistic doctors, medical treatment etc. because we feel desperate to have a baby. It's really sad..."
Thank you for this share Muireann. What comes up for me is that you wouldn't have offered this opinion to me if you weren't asking for a perspective on infertility costs that could actually support your fertility.
So here's how I'm guided to respond Muireann - with the intention of empowering you around infertility costs.
What I sense - at a deeper level for you - is not so much sadness about the infertility costs themselves (although they trigger that). I am wondering if your sadness is more around the fact that we've never been taught about our Creative Feminine™ or how to leverage that in our fertility.
So we are showing up on the fertility journey - as women over 40 and 50 - feeling overwhelmed by fertility, vulnerable and not at all in our feminine power. I feel that this is part of what you really want me to identify and address here.
Another piece that I detect in your share - and something I can completely relate to - is that in the story of you spending so much on all these interventions, the victim role is very active for you.
In other words, you feel like an victim of infertility, of the biological clock after 40 and - as if that's not enough - a target for people who want to cash in on your fear that you are running out of time to have a baby. And need to think seriously about preventing chromosomal abnormalities. It's a lot to deal with.
And while it may well be a very accurate version of your experience and the industry Muireann, what matters to me is that when you are in that victim space you are not in your full Creative Feminine™ power.
My sense is that your feminine wisdom is asking me to help you to shift from that victim mentality into another role. One that can empower you into and through motherhood. Because feeling like a victim on the fertility journey flows easily into feeling like a victim as a mother if nothing changes about your story. And that's not fun for anyone - especially you.
Let's draw on the first step of my Feminine Engagement Method® and FORM a new story around infertility costs. So instead of saying "women in my position are very vulnerable and fall prey to the medical community", how about the following?
"So many professionals round the globe are doing their very best to support women over 40 and 50 to have a baby now.
The world is changing in lovely ways. Before, people didn't entertain that as a possibility or consider it appropriate that women would become mothers at this stage in life.
But now there are so many different avenues of support upon which we can draw."
How does that feel instead Muirneann? For me there's a softening inside that emerges when I appreciate all these people. And when in that softer place, you are not fighting because there is no need.
Nor are you a victim because they are on your side - in a general way at least. From this space then, you can leverage your Creative Feminine® much more effectively. Because all the resources you have been pouring into protecting yourself from scam artists can now be channeled into realizing what you really want - which is a warm, nourishing experience of motherhood that honours who you are.
With this new version of the fertility industry, the world feels like a positive, safe place - a nice location to raise a child. In other words, your story becomes congruent with bringing a baby into the world and the experience you want to have as a mother. Does that resonate?
Lets go a little further..... Instead of feeling desperate to have a baby as if your life hangs on this, how about tapping into your Creative Feminine™ in the following ways:
When we are desperate, many of our efforts and investments into things like holistic doctors, medical treatments and other support cannot work because in desperation, you are not plugged into your Creative Feminine™. (Rather, you are forgetting utterly your creative power and value).
But when you are engaging your feminine also on the journey, taking the time to listen to your inner guidance and taking one step at a time, then these supports have a much greater chance of being effective. Because you will be able to discern what you really need and what can be most effective for you.
But perhaps Muireann, the most important aspect of your relationship with infertility costs that is wanting to change is the following:
At a deeper level, I am hearing that you would love to be in a position to invest in whatever you want Muireann - regardless of cost. I'm hearing a deeper calling within you that would love to know yourself as a woman in your power with your money and in your power with your finances. So, I'm going to invite you to intend this:
I will invest my time, energy and money in the most efficient, effective way for me and my unique journey. I will give myself the time I need to make the best decisions and I will allow my wealth to grow!
In desparation we often make hasty decisions that are not right for us and turn out to be completely wasteful. But when you remain connected to your vision, maintain a picture of competent people helping you effectively and feel confident in your ability to make the best investment for you, then you can approach your journey in a much more calm, wonder-filled way.
You are not a victim Muireann. You are an amazing woman learning about your Creative Feminine™ - in the process of showing up as the woman and mother you were born to be while enjoying financial freedom and empowerment with delight!.
I hope there was value in this for you and would love to hear your opinion or experience about infertility costs. Please comment below because your feminine contribution here really, really matters!
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