Are you wondering how to be a confident pregnant woman? Especially after so much fertility history. Or infertility history as we have been programmed to view it.
This audio and post came about in response to a message I received from Chloe who is 45 and pregnant. Here is what she had to share:
Deirdre, how do we deal with pregnancy after so much history? I fear I don't have the tools to be a confident pregnant woman.
The way I would like to support you Chloe - around how to be a confident pregnant woman - is to share what I hear in your question.
It sounds like you are looking back and viewing a history of fertility stress, huge effort, and, perhaps, many attempts to have a baby. It might include miscarriage grief or other baby loss. You have tried but it hasn't worked out. And this, it seems, has been repeated in different ways through-out your motherhood journey.
So I would just like to remind you here that this kind of relationship with your fertility journey is a patriarchal one in which success is only seen in terms of the product. The baby or live-birth in this case. So from that mindset, your journey may well be seen as one of failure.... until now. And with this trailing behind you it is difficult to be confident.
However, that is a mindset and understanding of the creative process that has no clue about the role of the feminine beyond egg and womb. But, as I found myself, remaining in these patriarchal stories can leave your feminine confidence in shreds.
And you are being invited to engage your feminine wisdom here because that's history. His story. The patriarchal perspective on female fertility and her creative contribution.
And your feminine wisdom is wanting you to articulate instead Her Story. Your story. A feminine version of what has unfolded for you over the last years. Because if you reflect back on your journey, you will see how each of those experiences have helped you to:
Each of them, in other words, has enriched you in some way as a woman. Even if that's not obvious in our patriarchal world. And I am inviting you to connect with your story in a way that honours that.
It's not about denying the pain, loss and challenges. It's about making room to connect with the gifts and transformation also.
So play around with the following ideas and thoughts for example and see if they feel better. Because if they do, your feminine wisdom is guiding you to include them in your story now. (I recommend listening to the audio below too).
I know how to be a confident pregnant woman! And some of the the reasons I know how to be a confident pregnant woman are because:
You are a different person now Chloe.
Not less than the woman who started out this journey - although patriarchy might tell you otherwise. You are infinitely more. Remembering that is part of how to be a confident pregnant woman! (See also my article on preventing preeclampsia as there is wisdom there for you also).
Soon you will be wondering how to be a confident mom! In the mean time enjoy this special time with your baby...
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