Recently I read an article around the topic of raising false hope for women on the fertility journey. I haven't been able to locate it since but the gist of it was as follows. Given the odds, it is not fair to be raising the hope of women who are planning on having a baby after 40. As I read, I could clearly see that the intentions behind the authors were full of integrity and caring.
And also, it was obvious to me that a patriarchal understanding of hope and the creative process led to that claim. Here in this audio/article, I'd like to share some feminine insight on hope that was drawn from my own recent experience so it may support you in having a baby after 40.
A few months back, during an excursion to the post office, I was drawn to a lottery ticket in a book of tickets sitting silently on the counter. The numbers jumped out at me and after investing in one, I placed it tenderly into my wallet.
My relationship with this lottery ticket was different to any other I had purchased. I just loved the numbers! And the dates. 11 million to be won on the 11th of November. I so enjoyed the ring of that and noticed myself smiling whenever I looked at it. Recognising the value of these positive feelings in the creative process, I decided to ponder a little. What if I was to win that lottery? What would I do differently?
Here is what came to mind first. I would check into my favorite hotel for a little retreat on my own. I'd go home to visit my parents in December (alone again!). And, I'd take the whole family to visit Ireland in January. Yes there would be a lot of change from 11 million and saving the world didn't enter my happy head. But this is what I discovered was most important for me first.
Whenever the lottery ticket peeped out at me, I just felt good. And I really felt "I could win that." My tantalising ticket triggered that kind of response in me and I delighted in milking it fully. The lottery draw took place and I didn't win it. At least not in the patriarchal sense. But when I was examining the lottery ticket later, this is what came up. "That money hasn't transferred to my account (yet!) but I really feel like I was a winner". Why?
Well, I actually recorded the audio below from my favorite hotel into which I had just checked-in. My visit to my parents last week filled all love tanks. And, I am taking the whole family to Ireland in January! Along with coaxing from me some really positive feelings, my ticket prompted be to become clear about what I wanted to create in the short term.
It tuned me in to what was most important for me at a deeper level at that time. This turned out to be retreat time and sacred family time filling love tanks. Renewed awareness inspired me to take action that I wouldn't have otherwise taken. And hope helped me to show up in a way that allowed my dreams to become reality.
Raising false hope around having a baby after 40 can be a concern when one doesn't understand the role of the feminine in the creative process. Or the volcanic value of the journey itself independent of the outcome. Or exactly how to help women engage their feminine wisdom.
My story reminded me of the first step of my Feminine Engagement Method™ which is to Form a picture of what you would love. It is a core first step to engaging your feminine wisdom in the creative process. And leveraging positive feelings of hope, excitement and anticipation, for example, functions like an injection of super-fuel.
So if there is a particular baby/family image that elicits a response of joy for you, play with it. If you don't have one, intend to attract one. And let you creative juices flow.
When you understand the feminine, you realize that it's not giving false hope. It's harnessing feminine wisdom and power. And this patriarchy doesn't get yet. But when you know how to engage your feminine wisdom (which is my intention in this work), you can be a winner. And feel like a winner. Regardless of what happens. Regardless of the patriarchal outcome (which is quite visible and obvious).
Imagine yourself holding your baby in 12 month's time. What will you be saying and doing differently? Give yourself permission to dabble with this idea. And enjoy exploring different possibilities in your mind and body for the delight they deliver now.
Hope is very important. It will serve you in having a baby after 40 and flowering fabulously as the woman you were born to be! I invite you listen to the audio below as it captures in another way the feminine wisdom that can serve you here.