Even though it is a sign of fertility, getting your period when trying to conceive can come as quite a blow. More so, of course, when in your late forties and scared you are running out of time to have a baby.
At this stage, you might find yourself filing your period into the folder of your negative fertility history - even if that is not where it belongs at all. Hence this article and audio on getting your period when trying to conceive...
It was inspired by Bríd, 48, who wrote to me on foot of a previous post exploring whether to let the dream go on having a baby at 48 and beyond.
What follows is an extract from her message:
Thank you for your wise, soothing words. I was feeling lousy. Weeping for not getting pregnant.
This month, I did follicle tracking to see if I am still ovulating. Or am I just making myself believe I am and could get pregnant at 48?
The scans before and after peak day were crystal clear. I am ovulating and my womb is doing just as it should. I was so hopeful. It might be my month but also my mens came.
But your words of comfort and 'it's not over yet' (see post on what to say after miscarriage) lifted me up.
Blessings and keep up the embraces of good hope."
Thank you for reaching out Bríd and allowing us to be part of your fertility journey. I would like to respond in a couple of different ways with the intention of supporting you now.
One aspect I am called to explore further with you are the words you used to communicate getting your period when trying to conceive.
Specifically, this phrase jumped out at me "my mens came".
You could have expressed that in a different way like 'my period' or 'my menstruation' - but you wrote "my mens came". And I could see your feminine wisdom pointing toward a masculine influence in this for you.
Not necessarily a male as such.
What came up for me was that whatever is going on in your fertility journey (especially perhaps this month), has something to do with our patriarchal, male world and the expectations that it has placed on us as women and mothers.
I wondered when I read that, if there was something during this cycle that resulted in your fertility energy being drained Bríd. Something that stole from your Creative Feminine™ and used up energy you need to have a baby?
Or being more in your masculine energy.
Is it possible that you moved from a feminine, feeling space (of confidence and hope) into your mental (male) world and began to think, rationalise or doubt the real possibility of getting pregnant with your own eggs for example.
Or did you find yourself reflecting on other limiting beliefs that dominate female fertility in patriarchy?
Alternatively (or additionally), maybe Bríd you found yourself showing up in life in a way that patriarchy has told us we should as women, partners, friends, daughters and mothers?
In other words, were you able to prioritise nurturing yourself during this time or did you take on more than you are able for (if your priority is to enjoy a healthy pregnancy)? I invite you to reflect on this without judgement Bríd because awareness around this will really support you in the future.
The second piece I would like to address in relation to getting your period when trying to conceive refers to one of the steps in my Feminine Engagement Method®. That step is Focus.
What I refer to here is a feminine type of focus - the kind that pours your Creative Feminine™ into what you truly want instead of what others would have you do.
In order to demonstrate it here in your share, I'm inviting you to focus on that gorgeous piece of your story that goes like this:
"I am ovulating and my womb is doing just as it should!"
(I recommend you listen to the audio below as it is much more powerful to hear this). When I speak this very powerful positive fertility mantra, I feel such a softness in my being. There's a warmth and a coziness.
To me, it feels like a precursor to "I am pregnant and my womb is doing just at it should". It's like your feminine wisdom is paving the way for this gorgeous, warm feeling to embrace your baby too!
I am inviting you to trust in the wisdom of your period coming this month Bríd. Even if you think that time is running out to have a baby.
Because your feminine wisdom is tapped into a much wider picture than our male world can grasp.
When you open up to that possibility, this wisdom can reveal itself and you don't have to feel fertility heartbreak month after month. Instead of diving into the doom and gloom that the logical mind demands of us during the 2 week wait, you enter into a different dance entirely.
I invite you to consider that, at a deeper level perhaps, this is what you intended to create during the specific ovulation and what inspired you to connect with me.
Might a deeper part of you have wanted to bring your attention to things in your life that are draining you now as a woman - so that you can release them and set yourself up for success?
And would your feminine wisdom really love for you to surrender more fully to the feeling of 'I am ovulating and my womb is doing just as it should'?
So that this can be the backdrop against which you and your baby can grow - safely with confidence and deep trust.....
I hope there was value in this for you and would love to hear your experience of getting your period when trying to conceive. What helped and what didn't? Please share below because your feminine contribution here really, really matters.
Let me coach you - so you can feel comfort and peace instead now.