Fertility Control – How Much Do You Really Have?

fertility control

​Fertility ​Control  

​When not trying to get pregnant, fertility control and birth control are often used interchangeably. But that is not the fertility control to which I refer here. 

​This audio and article come about in response to a comment Annie made on a post in which I shared documented evidence of ovulation at 57. The following is an extract of her share:

​ ​Hi Deirdre, ... ​how much control do we actually have in life? This is the question that keeps running through my mind. 

Because there is certainly a part of me that wants to believe we have much more control than we think we have — that we can make positive decisions and have a positive attitude and that, eventually, we’ll see positive results.

Deirdre, how do we deal with pregnancy after so much history? I fear I don't have the tools to be a confident pregnant woman.

​Fertility Control Questions ​

​Thank you so much Annie for this wonderful question. I would like to respond to this in a few ways with the intention of serving you now. ​The first is that it's really good to have questions, because when you are in questioning mode you are engaging your feminine.

Patriarchy, our male world, is really caught up with the answer - specifically finding or providing the right answer. The predominant approaches to education globally are a testimony to that. 

So I love that you are questioning here and allowing enquiry to be present. Because for me that is an indication that you are creating space for your feminine wisdom in this dialogue about fertility control. And about how much control we really have in life.


​When we are questioning, there is a feminine opening of sorts within us. A willingness to allow in new information, to entertain other possibilities and an intention, somehow, to perceive things in a novel way. For us. 

​While questioning might seem fairly inconsequential, in actual fact it is of enormous value with potentially far-reaching ramifications. Let's look at what ​one of the greatest minds in science had to say on this:

​​“If I had an hour to solve a problem and my life depended on the solution, I would spend the first 55 minutes determining the proper question to ask, for once I know the proper question, I could solve the problem in less than five minutes.”

 Albert Einstein

Deirdre, how do we deal with pregnancy after so much history? I fear I don't have the tools to be a confident pregnant woman.

When compared to other brilliant peers, it was said of Einstein, that "his understanding was deeper ...and his mind .. both more penetrating and more original.". ​Whether he was aware of it or not, this was possible because - instead of giving power to patriarchy by focusing primarily on 'the answer' - he was powerfully Engaging the Feminine​® with his work (as demonstrated with his relationship with questioning).

This combination of feminine questioning and masculine problem solving led to a  much more expansive understanding of the world. So I want to celebrate your questioning of fertility control here Annie because you are in very good company and that step alone is powerful!

​Fertility ​Control​ ?

this audio comes about in response to a message I received from Chloe who was 45 and pregnant.

​The second comment I'd like to make regarding fertility control deals with this part of your share: "​there is certainly a part of me that wants to believe we have much more control than we think we have".

What I'm hearing here Annie is not so much a desire to control, but rather a wanting to believe that you have much more creative power and influence when it comes to your fertility. ​A sense perhaps, that you have had enough of relating to your fertility in patriarchal ways. Allow me to expand on that...

​Control is a centre piece of our patriarchal world. In ways, it must be like that because without control a more natural ​equilibrium between the masculine and feminine would emerge. And that would disrupt greatly the current balance of power. ​

. I'd like to support you is just to share what I hear in that question. And what is happening. It sounds like it is that you're reviewing your history of many efforts and many attempts and the feeling of failure where you've tried and it hasn't working for tried and it hasn't worked. And this has been repeated over and over in different ways in your fertility journey in your motherhood journey. And so I'd just like to remind you here that this kind of approach or interpretation of our fertility journey is very much a patriarca one in which success is only seen in terms of the outcome, the project the baby. And you were being invited to engage your feminine wisdom here because that's history his story the patriarchal interpretation and is time for her story, your story the feminine version of what has unfolded for you over the last year to show up here now because if you reflect back on all this journey you will see clearly how each of those experiences have helped you to show-up more authentically to discern Who you really want to be in the world and have added to your empowerment to your sense of serve to your sense of integrity to your confidence and to your allowing yourself to be you instead of having to do this in a particular way at a particular time. This journey has made you step up and say you know I want it now even if the circumstances aren't perfect according to the patriarchal download.

​Patriarchal Control

​We have been indoctrinated with the idea that 'controlling' is how we achieve things. How often do we see mothers trying to control their children so that they 'look' good from a patriarchal perspective? In other words clean, clever and obedient! ​Apart from pleasing the patriarchal police (family and the social circle for example), this is often totally unnecessary and, more importantly, really inefficient.

Why? Because when we are trying to control others, we are disconnected from our true Creative Feminine™ power. She doesn't rely on control at all. So what I'm hearing from you Annie, is that you are wanting to know that you have creative power here​.

​Yes, you do and we have only just begun to taste that because we have grown up with a male version of creativity. One that is sure that action and the mental piece together usher in change (the creative masculine). ​As we haven't been taught about our Creative Feminine™, we tend to exclude her necessary presence and end up failing (if the goal is goes beyond what others believe is possible for us).

Feminine Control!

​This leads us to conclude, for example, that we can't have a baby​ no matter what we do. ​But your Creative Feminine™ expresses herself in different ways to the creative masculine. And my sense is that you are wanting to engage her more deliberately now - just as you are with your beautiful questioning.

​​​When you begin to engage your feminine wisdom around the topic of fertility control and control in general something very important happens.

The notion of control -  with it's tight overtones of force and restriction - is replaced with a 'deliberate intention' to show up in a way that allows for the kind of results you are looking for.

Deirdre, how do we deal with pregnancy after so much history? I fear I don't have the tools to be a confident pregnant woman.

​Making that seemingly small shift reconnects you to your feminine power​ because you become the object of change - and you absolutely can influence you. And it's aspects of yourself that you have the power to change easily (i.e. how you show up as opposed to your age, wealth, education or connections).

Fertility Control - Final Thoughts

​When you commit to this, you have an opportunity to influence your fertility and experience of motherhood is so many positive ways. Here are examples of what I mean by 'how you show up' that can support your intentions now.

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    ​Whether you are going to let patriarchal ideas dictate your relationship with your fertility
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    ​The degree to which you engage your feminine wisdom on this journey
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    ​Interpreting your menses (period), not as a sign of failure, but rather as evidence of your fertility
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    ​Deciding not to share your company with those who undermine you and choosing to spend time with people who support your dreams

​​You have a huge amount of fertility control Annie and opportunities to exercise that in every moment. Each decision you make that feels good empowers your Creative Feminine™ and helps you integrate her presence in a much deeper way. When this becomes your pattern you will see positive results in your life - in ways that will surprise and delight you now and through motherhood.

And each of those experiences those baby's those attempts have added to you as a woman even if that's not obvious to the medical model or to patriarchy. And so I'd really be inviting you to really connect with your story in a new way and forget the patriarchal history so that you can write your own story and that links to the form stage of my feminine engagement method. But you are really being invited here now to switch that mantra in your head about failure and last in two one hour gain and empowerment and I'd actually be asking you to go through each of those parent classes and of course many of them will have been difficult and painful.
​Fertility Control - Audio

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