Coping With Infertility – Feminine Wisdom

coping with infertility

​​Coping With Infertility  

If you haven't experienced fertility challenges, coping with infertility may sound easy. The reality is that it can be a grueling dance. Especially after 40.

And because our patriarchal, male world doesn't yet understand the role of feelings in the creative process, one of the most common ways of coping is to pretend infertility is ok. Which, apart from being utterly exhausting, can be very lonely and cause your fertility energy to be drained even further.

​Coping with infertility during the holidays is a topic of its own (I mention this because it is holiday time as I write). And there are certain moments on the fertility journey that can be particularly challenging. Like how to cope with everyone else getting pregnant.

​​Why Not More Than Coping?

​I have to be honest here. Coping with infertility - or ​coping with secondary infertility - is not really my interest. There is merit for sure in coping with infertility and I have needed this kind of help myself.

But hidden within our patriarchal idea of coping with infertility are assumptions about a woman's role, value and relative powerlessness in the world.

​We have been trained to accept and cope with the patriarchal version of life, the feminine and the creative process. Even if it is flawed and false. With the result that so many of us are mere shadows of our true feminine potential.

​My job is to educate -which means to draw out - about the creative feminine so you can understand and leverage your creative feminine power. To transform infertility to motherhood if that is your truth. And live the life that you truly desire - as opposed to the one women have been taught to settle with. ​

​A Powerful Example....

​That's why it felt so important to bring you this audio and article below. Because it goes beyond coping with infertility to help you live the life you love. Now.

It was inspired by Doerte's discovery. Here is what she shared in her message to me:

this audio comes about in response to a message I received from Chloe who was 45 and pregnant.

​Dear Deirdre, thank you for your post. I received a lot of value...

In your post 'Don't Want Donor Eggs', you wrote about doing something you always wanted to do. I have been singing in a choir for three months!

Our choir will be giving a concert tomorrow evening. We will be singing taize music which is so full of hope and trust and joy. Can you imagine?

 I never thought this would be of interest to me. It is a challenge and very rewarding and so much joy. And it also takes my mind off supporting fertility in a negative work environment​ .

Deirdre, how do we deal with pregnancy after so much history? I fear I don't have the tools to be a confident pregnant woman.
. I'd like to support you is just to share what I hear in that question. And what is happening. It sounds like it is that you're reviewing your history of many efforts and many attempts and the feeling of failure where you've tried and it hasn't working for tried and it hasn't worked. And this has been repeated over and over in different ways in your fertility journey in your motherhood journey. And so I'd just like to remind you here that this kind of approach or interpretation of our fertility journey is very much a patriarca one in which success is only seen in terms of the outcome, the project the baby. And you were being invited to engage your feminine wisdom here because that's history his story the patriarchal interpretation and is time for her story, your story the feminine version of what has unfolded for you over the last year to show up here now because if you reflect back on all this journey you will see clearly how each of those experiences have helped you to show-up more authentically to discern Who you really want to be in the world and have added to your empowerment to your sense of serve to your sense of integrity to your confidence and to your allowing yourself to be you instead of having to do this in a particular way at a particular time. This journey has made you step up and say you know I want it now even if the circumstances aren't perfect according to the patriarchal download.

​​​Coping Or Creating?

​I was so delighted to read this message. Because for me, it is a wonderful example of moving from a life of coping with infertility (or anything else as a woman) to ​creating joy and fulfillment right now.

​But there is a lot more of your creative feminine wisdom showing up in this apparently simple change. In the audio below, I have highlighted the three most important developments I observe for you Doerte.

​And I invite you to press play and listen to it a few times. Because there is important guidance within that can support your fertility and creative feminine even more... and my sense is that you are ready to hear that now!

And each of those experiences those baby's those attempts have added to you as a woman even if that's not obvious to the medical model or to patriarchy. And so I'd really be inviting you to really connect with your story in a new way and forget the patriarchal history so that you can write your own story and that links to the form stage of my feminine engagement method. But you are really being invited here now to switch that mantra in your head about failure and last in two one hour gain and empowerment and I'd actually be asking you to go through each of those parent classes and of course many of them will have been difficult and painful.
Audio - More Than Coping With Infertility!

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