Does it feel like no matter what you do, you can't have a baby? Maybe you've tried everything to get pregnant or you've been trying to conceive for years.
Or perhaps it's more about a fear around your eggs running out. And you don't believe you have much time or choice left. Whatever the specific trigger, thinking that you can't have a baby is an idea that visits - and often stays - especially in fertility after 40.
And it can be very painful and lonely. So if you are thinking "I can't have a baby and I'm depressed", then I invite you to read first these posts on negative fertility emotions and dealing with the emotions of infertility.
Before I explore the idea of 'I can't have a baby no matter what I do', I will share a couple of external links that might be of value to you. Here are some basic signs that you might need to get help. And I enjoyed this honest share from a woman around her journey without a baby.
This audio and article below were inspired by the follow words I received from one of the beautiful women in our tribe:
"Deirdre...no matter what I do it is never enough."
So this is what comes up for me when I read that. What is most important to be aware of here is the background against which this experience is occurring. Because as you know (if you have been following my blog), our preoccupation with the 'doing' piece of life - and the idea that we create mainly by doing and thinking - belongs to a patriarchal mindset.
A world that has been ruled by males and perceived the feminine and the creativity through the eyes of the masculine. In the patriarchal download we have removed from the picture the contribution of the feminine (beyond egg and womb).
So much so that there isn't even an awareness that other expressions of the feminine (like hope, desire, feeling etc) are essential components of the creative process. What matters, we are told, is the sperm and egg piece. So when you share with me that no matter what you 'do' you can't have a baby, I hear deep feminine wisdom guiding you there.
Because, co-creation is not about 'doing' alone (although doing absolutely is going to be part of it). It's also about engaging your feminine wisdom.
And my sense is that one aspect of the feminine that wants to show up for you is about retreating (from patriarchy) and the idea that you can't. And all those feelings of inadequacy and failure that trail behind that. To take time to play with, and imagine, your fertile future.
To celebrate and move in a way that feels lovely for you. So you can reconnect with the power and perfection of your female body. And feel the dance of life flowing through you... still. Because these feelings matter. And a joyful, trusting relationship with your body matters.
They not only support your creative feminine - imagine how much easier it is for your body to feel empowered in this kind of relationship. But also, they brings joy into the journey itself (as opposed to just the outcome that patriarchy is obsessed with). And your feminine wisdom knows the true value of the journey and of the process. Even if patriarchy does not (yet).
The reality is that all the doing in the world will not get the results. Co-creation always requires the masculine and the feminine contribution. We have been programmed into showing up in the masculine way and then when we don't get results we believe that it's not possible.
It's because of how age affects fertility. It's because the fertility statistics are right. It brings up notions that 'I'm just not worthy' and patriarchal conclusions such as 'I'm ttc after 40 but my female body is letting me down.
But when you are Engaging the Feminine® and your feminine wisdom you have access to your full creative power. On a moment to moment basis. And that is what wants to be born now. It feels like you are being invited to go deeper with that.
And to allow the beautiful 'doing' to come from inspiration that comes up as you are feeling, visioning and enjoying your beautiful, feminine body and life. Because you are a powerful creator and the best is yet to come!
Let me coach you - so you can feel comfort and peace instead now.